::wiping the tears from her eyes:: OMG... me and RTF were laughing a lot at these. --- Gale Draper wrote: > Some of you may have already seen this. It was sent > to me and I thought it was funny. > > > After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a > gripe sheet, > which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had > with > the airplane during the flight. > > The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then > explain > in writing on the lower half of the form what > remedial action was > taken. The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the > next flight. > > Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers > lack a > sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance > problems > submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions > recorded by > maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the > only > major airline that has never had an accident. > > (P = The problem logged by the pilot.) > (S = The solution and action taken by the engineer.) > > P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. > S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. > > P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. > S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. > > > P: Something loose in cockpit. > S: Something tightened in cockpit. > > P: Dead bugs on windshield. > S: Live bugs on backorder. > > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a > 200 feet-per-minute descent. > S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. > > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. > S: Evidence removed. > > P: DME volume unbelievably loud. > S: DME volume set to more believable level. > > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. > S: That's what they're there for. > > P: IFF inoperative. > S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. > > P: Suspected crack in windshield. > S: Suspect you're right. > > P: Number 3 engine missing. > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. > > P: Aircraft handles funny. > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and > be serious. > > P: Target radar hums. > S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. > > P: Mouse in cockpit. > S: Cat installed. > > > > --------------------------------- > Do you Yahoo!? > Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site > design software ===== xWaterLilyx & RTF Team H20 Phoenix, AZ (Ahwatukee) Geocaching Site: http://www.geocities.com/xwaterlilyxrtf __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software http://sitebuilder.yahoo.com